1 00:00:08,008 --> 00:00:09,629 "MELISSA AND JOEY" IS RECORDED IN FRONT OF A LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE. 2 00:00:09,630 --> 00:00:10,800 OH, WHAT A PERFECT MORNING. 3 00:00:10,801 --> 00:00:12,472 I'VE GOT MY MAN, I'VE GOT MY NEPHEW, 4 00:00:12,473 --> 00:00:14,514 HE HAS HIS GIRLFRIEND, AND SHE HAS HER BABY. 5 00:00:14,515 --> 00:00:16,806 THAT'S RIGHT. AND I GOT MY FARM FRESH RICOTTA. 6 00:00:16,807 --> 00:00:18,398 OH, WHICH MEANS LATER ON I'M GONNA HAVE A GREAT LASAGNA. 7 00:00:18,399 --> 00:00:19,849 THIS DAY JUST GETS BETTER AND BETTER. 8 00:00:19,850 --> 00:00:21,231 OH, LOOK. FREE SMOOTHIE SAMPLES. 9 00:00:21,232 --> 00:00:22,642 GET THE KALE ONE. IT'S THE BEST. 10 00:00:22,643 --> 00:00:23,903 WITH A SHOT OF KELP. 11 00:00:23,904 --> 00:00:26,696 MOMMY, THIS TASTES LIKE MEDICINE. 12 00:00:26,697 --> 00:00:28,818 OH, AND NOW WE KNOW WHY THOSE ARE FREE. 13 00:00:28,819 --> 00:00:30,610 - WOULD YOU? - SURE, YEAH. 14 00:00:30,611 --> 00:00:32,652 I'M LICENSED TO DRIVE ONE OF THESE THINGS. 15 00:00:32,653 --> 00:00:35,495 OH, WHAT AN ADORABLE BABY. 16 00:00:35,496 --> 00:00:37,036 YOU MUST BE SO PROUD. 17 00:00:37,037 --> 00:00:39,619 OH, WELL, WHILE SHE IS ADORABLE ENOUGH TO BE MINE, 18 00:00:39,620 --> 00:00:40,790 ACTUALLY STELLA HERE IS THE MOM. 19 00:00:40,791 --> 00:00:43,753 OH. SO THAT MAKES YOU THE PROUD GRAND... 20 00:00:43,754 --> 00:00:44,965 FOR YOUR OWN SAKE, DO NOT SAY THAT. 21 00:00:47,468 --> 00:00:49,509 LOOKS LIKE SOMEBODY'S GETTING TIRED, HUH? 22 00:00:49,510 --> 00:00:50,800 YEAH. 23 00:00:50,801 --> 00:00:52,842 HEY, WE'LL MEET YOU GUYS BACK AT THE HOUSE, OKAY? 24 00:00:52,843 --> 00:00:55,845 THAT IS, IF I DON'T GET PULLED OVER FOR SPEEDING FIRST. 25 00:00:55,846 --> 00:00:57,637 ALL RIGHT, ISABEL, YOU READY TO RIDE SHOTGUN? 26 00:00:57,638 --> 00:00:59,889 HERE WE GO! VROOM VROOM! 27 00:00:59,890 --> 00:01:02,232 WELL, RYDER SURE IS GOOD WITH THAT BABY. 28 00:01:02,233 --> 00:01:04,814 YEAH, WELL, HE AND ISABEL HAVE SIMILAR INTERESTS... 29 00:01:04,815 --> 00:01:06,856 NAPS AND BOOBS. 30 00:01:06,857 --> 00:01:09,239 - ( dog barking ) - LOOK, JOE. DOG ADOPTIONS. 31 00:01:09,240 --> 00:01:10,450 OH, LOOK AT THIS LITTLE GUY. 32 00:01:10,451 --> 00:01:11,821 HE IS SO CUTE. 33 00:01:11,822 --> 00:01:13,533 YEAH, HE'S ADORABLE. 34 00:01:13,534 --> 00:01:16,326 USE SOME HAND SANITIZER. WE MIGHT BE TOUCHING LATER. 35 00:01:16,327 --> 00:01:18,958 IT'S SO SAD. HE'S AN ORPHAN. 36 00:01:18,959 --> 00:01:21,541 ( British accent ) PLEASE, SIR, MAY I HAVE A HOME? 37 00:01:21,542 --> 00:01:23,793 LOOK, HE FITS IN MY ARMS PERFECTLY, 38 00:01:23,794 --> 00:01:25,205 AND HE ALREADY KNOWS MY NAME. 39 00:01:25,206 --> 00:01:26,796 "BURKE! BURKE BURKE BURKE!" 40 00:01:26,797 --> 00:01:28,128 COME ON. LET'S TAKE HIM. 41 00:01:28,129 --> 00:01:29,969 - NO. - WHY NOT? 42 00:01:29,970 --> 00:01:31,471 YOU WANT ALL 500 REASONS, 43 00:01:31,472 --> 00:01:32,802 OR JUST THE TOP TWO? 44 00:01:32,803 --> 00:01:33,973 ALL RIGHT, NUMBER ONE, 45 00:01:33,974 --> 00:01:35,385 YOU'RE GONE ALL DAY AT WORK, 46 00:01:35,386 --> 00:01:36,636 AND NUMBER TWO, I AM NOT BABYSITTING 47 00:01:36,637 --> 00:01:37,637 YOUR SHEDDING FURBALL. 48 00:01:37,638 --> 00:01:40,890 ( gasps ) HE CAN HEAR YOU. 49 00:01:40,891 --> 00:01:42,482 COME ON. IT'S REALLY NOT THE RIGHT TIME 50 00:01:42,483 --> 00:01:43,893 FOR YOU AND ME TO BE ADOPTING A DOG. 51 00:01:43,894 --> 00:01:45,024 YOU CAN SEE THAT, RIGHT? 52 00:01:45,025 --> 00:01:46,396 YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT. 53 00:01:46,397 --> 00:01:47,817 IT'S NOT A GOOD TIME NOW. 54 00:01:47,818 --> 00:01:49,819 BUT YOU KNOW WHAT, BUDDY, IT'S NOT YOU, IT'S US. 55 00:01:49,820 --> 00:01:52,282 WELL, MOSTLY HIM. 56 00:01:52,283 --> 00:01:54,494 YOU KNOW WHAT? 57 00:01:54,495 --> 00:01:56,286 HE IS GONNA FIND THE PERFECT HOME, OKAY? 58 00:01:56,287 --> 00:01:57,288 I CAN FEEL IT. 59 00:01:58,949 --> 00:02:02,583 JOE, LOOK WHO FOUND THE PERFECT HOME. 60 00:02:04,835 --> 00:02:06,206 ( theme music plays ) 61 00:02:06,207 --> 00:02:07,877 - ♪ IT'S ALL GOOD ♪ - ♪ All good ♪ 62 00:02:07,878 --> 00:02:09,959 - ♪ IT'S OKAY ♪ - ♪ Okay ♪ 63 00:02:09,960 --> 00:02:11,421 - ♪ IT'S ALL RIGHT ♪ - ♪ All right ♪ 64 00:02:11,422 --> 00:02:13,213 ♪ AS FAR AS I CAN SEE ♪ 65 00:02:13,214 --> 00:02:15,014 - ♪ IT'S ALL GOOD ♪ - ♪ All good ♪ 66 00:02:15,015 --> 00:02:17,056 - ♪ IT'S OKAY ♪ - ♪ Okay ♪ 67 00:02:17,057 --> 00:02:18,598 - ♪ IT'S ALL RIGHT ♪ - ♪ All right ♪ 68 00:02:18,599 --> 00:02:21,391 ♪ I GUESS YOU'RE STUCK ♪ 69 00:02:21,392 --> 00:02:24,395 ♪ WITH ME ♪ 70 00:02:26,857 --> 00:02:28,648 MEL, HONEY, I THOUGHT WE TALKED AND AGREED 71 00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:29,649 THAT WE WEREN'T GETTING A DOG. 72 00:02:29,650 --> 00:02:31,941 "I'M WENDELL." ( chuckles ) 73 00:02:31,942 --> 00:02:33,983 OH, JEEZ. YOU NAMED IT? 74 00:02:33,984 --> 00:02:36,616 LOOK, WE DIDN'T GET A DOG. I GOT A DOG. 75 00:02:36,617 --> 00:02:38,778 AND WENDELL HERE IS NOW A PART OF THAT INDEPENDENT 76 00:02:38,779 --> 00:02:40,370 JOE-FREE PORTION OF MY LIFE, 77 00:02:40,371 --> 00:02:42,041 WHICH INCLUDES THOUSAND ISLAND DRESSING 78 00:02:42,042 --> 00:02:44,043 AND WATCHING "THE VIEW." 79 00:02:44,044 --> 00:02:46,786 BUT, MEL, AFTER CAREFUL CONSIDERATION AND LOGIC, 80 00:02:46,787 --> 00:02:48,498 WE DECIDED IT WASN'T THE BEST TIME. 81 00:02:48,499 --> 00:02:49,709 THAT WAS YOUR DECISION. 82 00:02:49,710 --> 00:02:51,791 MY DECISION WAS BASED ON HOW CUTE HE IS. 83 00:02:51,792 --> 00:02:53,503 OH, YEAH. OH, WATCH THIS. 84 00:02:53,504 --> 00:02:55,795 - HEY. - ( toy squeaks ) 85 00:02:55,796 --> 00:02:57,557 WENDELL, KILL THE PIG. KILL THE PIG. 86 00:02:57,558 --> 00:02:58,559 - ( growling ) - COME ON. 87 00:03:01,562 --> 00:03:03,142 WOW, SO AT LEAST WE KNOW THAT WE'RE GONNA BE SAFE 88 00:03:03,143 --> 00:03:05,184 IF WE EVER HAPPENED TO BE ATTACKED BY TOY PIGS. 89 00:03:05,185 --> 00:03:07,066 LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING, MEL. 90 00:03:07,067 --> 00:03:09,689 HOW DO YOU PLAN TO CARE FOR THIS COMPLETELY UNTRAINED ANIMAL 91 00:03:09,690 --> 00:03:11,811 WHEN YOU'RE DOWN IN CITY HALL ALL DAY DOING... 92 00:03:11,812 --> 00:03:13,653 WHATEVER THE HELL IT IS YOU DO DOWN THERE? 93 00:03:13,654 --> 00:03:17,196 OKAY, NOW YOU'RE JUST FINDING PROBLEMS THAT DON'T EXIST. 94 00:03:17,197 --> 00:03:19,198 THERE ARE DOG-SITTERS ON EVERY STREET CORNER 95 00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:20,370 JUST WAITING TO BE CALLED. 96 00:03:20,371 --> 00:03:22,782 THOSE ARE HOMELESS PEOPLE. 97 00:03:22,783 --> 00:03:24,784 THERE ARE TEENAGERS IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD 98 00:03:24,785 --> 00:03:27,457 THAT WOULD PAY ME TO LOOK AFTER AN ADORABLE DOG LIKE WENDELL. 99 00:03:27,458 --> 00:03:29,379 - WE'LL FIND SOMEBODY. - YEAH, AND WHAT IF WE DON'T? 100 00:03:29,380 --> 00:03:31,331 I GOTTA TELL YOU, NOT A DOG PERSON. 101 00:03:31,332 --> 00:03:32,792 WHAT?! 102 00:03:32,793 --> 00:03:34,794 WHO ARE YOU? 103 00:03:34,795 --> 00:03:38,007 I DIDN'T JUST SAY I OWNED SLAVES. 104 00:03:38,008 --> 00:03:39,299 I'M JUST NOT A BIG FAN OF ANYONE 105 00:03:39,300 --> 00:03:41,841 WHO WIPES THEIR BUTT ON THE CARPET. 106 00:03:41,842 --> 00:03:42,932 WELL, DON'T WORRY, JOE. 107 00:03:42,933 --> 00:03:44,304 I PROMISE YOU'LL NEVER HAVE TO LIFT A FINGER 108 00:03:44,305 --> 00:03:46,896 TO CARE OF THIS ADORABLE BUNDLE OF UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. 109 00:03:46,897 --> 00:03:48,899 OH, LOOK. HOW CAN YOU HATE A FACE LIKE THAT? 110 00:03:51,942 --> 00:03:53,774 ( whirring loudly ) 111 00:03:55,776 --> 00:03:57,777 DUDE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO THE BABY? 112 00:03:57,778 --> 00:03:59,619 I'VE GOT THE HEAT SETTING ON LOW. 113 00:03:59,620 --> 00:04:02,952 HOW DID YOU END UP PUTTING A HAIR DRYER ON HER? 114 00:04:02,953 --> 00:04:04,033 OKAY, SO FIRST, 115 00:04:04,034 --> 00:04:05,705 I SHARED MY GUACAMOLE WITH HER, RIGHT? 116 00:04:05,706 --> 00:04:07,747 OKAY, I'M ALL CAUGHT UP. 117 00:04:07,748 --> 00:04:09,789 SHE OVERFLOWED HER DIAPER THREE TIMES, 118 00:04:09,790 --> 00:04:12,332 SO I HAD TO GIVE HER A BATH IN THE SINK. 119 00:04:12,333 --> 00:04:14,374 YOU MOVED ALL THE DISHES OUT OF THERE FIRST THOUGH, RIGHT? 120 00:04:14,375 --> 00:04:16,336 THEY WEREN'T IN THE WAY. 121 00:04:16,337 --> 00:04:18,217 AND WE'RE GETTING NEW DISHES. 122 00:04:18,218 --> 00:04:20,800 ANYWAY, SHE WENT THROUGH FOUR OUTFITS, 123 00:04:20,801 --> 00:04:22,552 AND I WENT THROUGH TWO, 124 00:04:22,553 --> 00:04:25,144 SO FIGURED THIS MADE THE MOST SENSE TO WEAR. 125 00:04:25,145 --> 00:04:27,847 YOU KNOW, YOU DON'T ALWAYS HAVE TO KEEP VOLUNTEERING TO WATCH HER, MAN. 126 00:04:27,848 --> 00:04:29,649 STELLA HAD MARCHING BAND PRACTICE, ALL RIGHT? 127 00:04:29,650 --> 00:04:31,230 IF I HADN'T HELPED, 128 00:04:31,231 --> 00:04:32,942 SHE WOULD HAVE HAD TO DROP OUT. 129 00:04:32,943 --> 00:04:35,395 OKAY, I JUST GOT A WAFT OF SOMETHING. 130 00:04:35,396 --> 00:04:36,656 WAS THAT YOU OR HER? 131 00:04:36,657 --> 00:04:38,608 I HOPE IT WAS ME. 132 00:04:38,609 --> 00:04:39,780 YEAH, IT WAS ME. 133 00:04:41,201 --> 00:04:43,613 I JUST MET WENDELL, OUR NEW DOG. 134 00:04:43,614 --> 00:04:45,705 UH, IT'S NOT OUR DOG. IT'S YOUR AUNT'S DOG. 135 00:04:45,706 --> 00:04:46,996 ALL RIGHT? SHE'S GONNA BE THE ONE TAKING CARE OF IT. 136 00:04:46,997 --> 00:04:48,708 I JUST POSTED THIS ON INSTAGRAM, 137 00:04:48,709 --> 00:04:49,869 AND LOOK AT HOW MANY LIKES HE GOT. 138 00:04:49,870 --> 00:04:51,290 EVERYBODY LIKES HIM. 139 00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:53,413 NOT EVERYBODY. 140 00:04:53,414 --> 00:04:55,294 OH, LOOK AT THOSE EARS. 141 00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:56,756 HE'S ADORABLE. 142 00:04:56,757 --> 00:04:58,087 MMM. 143 00:04:58,088 --> 00:04:59,799 HEY, WHAT ABOUT LITTLE ISABEL HERE? 144 00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:01,220 I'D SAY SHE'S PRETTY CUTE. 145 00:05:01,221 --> 00:05:03,222 ( squirting ) 146 00:05:03,223 --> 00:05:04,634 OH, MAN! 147 00:05:04,635 --> 00:05:07,017 THIS IS MY LAST CLEAN SWIMSUIT. 148 00:05:11,231 --> 00:05:12,643 ( whimpers ) 149 00:05:15,936 --> 00:05:17,937 STOP LOOKING AT ME. I'M NOT YOUR OWNER. 150 00:05:17,938 --> 00:05:20,029 MORNING, JOE. 151 00:05:20,030 --> 00:05:22,031 - SEE YOU, JOE. - HEY, WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT. 152 00:05:22,032 --> 00:05:24,744 WHERE'S THAT DOG-SITTER THAT YOUR AUNT HIRED? 153 00:05:24,745 --> 00:05:26,366 OH, RIGHT. NATALIE JUST CALLED. 154 00:05:26,367 --> 00:05:28,908 HER MOM CAUGHT HER IN THE SHOWER WITH HER BOYFRIEND, 155 00:05:28,909 --> 00:05:31,952 AND WHEN I SAY HER BOYFRIEND, I MEAN HER MOM'S BOYFRIEND. 156 00:05:33,253 --> 00:05:34,624 SO ANYWAY, SHE GOT GROUNDED 157 00:05:34,625 --> 00:05:36,666 AND ISN'T COMING. 158 00:05:36,667 --> 00:05:38,878 WHO'S GONNA BE TAKING CARE OF YOUR AUNT'S DOG THEN? 159 00:05:38,879 --> 00:05:39,879 CAN YOU DO SOMETHING TO HELP OUT? 160 00:05:39,880 --> 00:05:42,221 I ALREADY TWEETED LIKE A HUNDRED PICTURES 161 00:05:42,222 --> 00:05:43,803 OF HIM DOING REALLY CUTE STUFF. 162 00:05:43,804 --> 00:05:46,015 OH, YOU DID? THAT'S NOT HELPING. 163 00:05:46,016 --> 00:05:47,226 NO, IT IS, OKAY? 164 00:05:47,227 --> 00:05:49,228 I TWEETED "BOY, DID I HAVE A RUFF DAY." 165 00:05:49,229 --> 00:05:50,309 ( chuckles ) 166 00:05:50,310 --> 00:05:51,812 THAT'S CUTE, HUH? 167 00:05:53,233 --> 00:05:54,815 I HAVE A CLASS. GOOD LUCK. 168 00:05:56,977 --> 00:05:57,858 LENNOX? 169 00:06:00,030 --> 00:06:01,481 ( whimpers ) 170 00:06:01,482 --> 00:06:04,193 WHAT, YOU THINK YOU CAN WIN ME OVER, HUH? 171 00:06:04,194 --> 00:06:05,906 REALLY? 172 00:06:07,618 --> 00:06:08,749 YOU'RE A RAT WITH A COLLAR. 173 00:06:10,911 --> 00:06:12,622 ( cellphone ringing ) 174 00:06:12,623 --> 00:06:13,913 - HEY, JOE. - MEL, LISTEN... 175 00:06:13,914 --> 00:06:15,374 LOOK, WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF A MEETING. 176 00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:16,916 WE'RE ABOUT TO VOTE ON A VERY IMPORTANT ISSUE. 177 00:06:16,917 --> 00:06:18,548 I VOTE THE FALAFEL PLACE. 178 00:06:18,549 --> 00:06:20,960 WE DID INDIAN LAST WEEK. 179 00:06:20,961 --> 00:06:23,212 HEY, MEL, I HATE TO BE ONE OF THOSE BOYFRIENDS 180 00:06:23,213 --> 00:06:24,804 WHO SAYS "I SAW THIS COMING," 181 00:06:24,805 --> 00:06:25,965 BUT DAY ONE, DAY ONE, 182 00:06:25,966 --> 00:06:27,807 DOGGIE DAY CARE IS OFF THE RAILS. 183 00:06:27,808 --> 00:06:28,888 BUT I BOOKED NATALIE. 184 00:06:28,889 --> 00:06:30,059 YEAH, NATALIE'S STUCK IN THE SHOWER. 185 00:06:30,060 --> 00:06:32,061 SHE AIN'T COMING. 186 00:06:32,062 --> 00:06:34,143 ALL RIGHT? SO WHAT DO YOU PLAN TO DO FOR YOUR DOG TODAY? 187 00:06:34,144 --> 00:06:35,475 OOH, CAN YOU PUT WENDELL ON? 188 00:06:35,476 --> 00:06:37,437 I WANT TO TELL HIM I WUV HIM. 189 00:06:37,438 --> 00:06:40,019 UH, NO. HE'S BUSY RIGHT NOW. 190 00:06:40,020 --> 00:06:41,400 WHAT'S HE DOING? 191 00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:44,403 SOMETHING I CAN'T. 192 00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:45,985 WHEN ARE YOU GETTING HOME? 193 00:06:45,986 --> 00:06:48,027 JOE, I'M REALLY STUCK. I'M BEGGING YOU. 194 00:06:48,028 --> 00:06:49,699 WATCH WENDELL FOR ONE DAY. 195 00:06:49,700 --> 00:06:51,120 - NO, I CAN'T. - THANKS. 196 00:06:51,121 --> 00:06:52,792 OOH, YOU'RE THE BEST BOYFRIEND EVER. 197 00:06:52,793 --> 00:06:54,203 MEL. 198 00:06:54,204 --> 00:06:56,205 ( sighs ) 199 00:06:56,206 --> 00:06:59,799 WELL, I'M GLAD YOU LIKE ENTERTAINING YOURSELF, PAL. 200 00:06:59,800 --> 00:07:01,922 'CAUSE YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN FOR THE REST OF TODAY. 201 00:07:06,807 --> 00:07:08,968 ( barks ) 202 00:07:08,969 --> 00:07:10,640 DUDE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 203 00:07:10,641 --> 00:07:11,931 FORGET IT, ALL RIGHT? 204 00:07:11,932 --> 00:07:13,853 ( barking ) 205 00:07:13,854 --> 00:07:17,016 I'M NOT OPENING THE... 206 00:07:17,017 --> 00:07:18,559 ALL RIGHT, YOU PAIN IN THE ASS, LET'S GO. 207 00:07:27,197 --> 00:07:29,529 SORRY I'M A FEW MINUTES LATE. 208 00:07:29,530 --> 00:07:31,531 YEAH. 209 00:07:31,532 --> 00:07:32,782 23 MINUTES, ACTUALLY, FRANK, 210 00:07:32,783 --> 00:07:34,784 BUT WHO'S COUNTING? 211 00:07:34,785 --> 00:07:36,786 ANYWAY, WE'LL DO WHAT WE CAN WE THE TIME WE HAVE LEFT, ALL RIGHT? 212 00:07:36,787 --> 00:07:38,708 WE'RE GONNA START WITH BICEPS. THREE SETS OF HAMMER CURLS. 213 00:07:38,709 --> 00:07:39,919 HEY, YOU GOT A DOG. 214 00:07:39,920 --> 00:07:41,130 DOES HE HAVE A NAME? 215 00:07:41,131 --> 00:07:43,543 I CAN TELL YOU WHAT I CALL HIM. 216 00:07:43,544 --> 00:07:45,134 AND IF HE KNOWS WHAT'S GOOD FOR HIM, 217 00:07:45,135 --> 00:07:46,135 HE'S GONNA STAY OUT OF MY WAY TODAY. 218 00:07:46,136 --> 00:07:47,386 - ( whimpers ) - YEAH. 219 00:07:47,387 --> 00:07:49,138 ALL RIGHT. WE'RE IN. 220 00:07:49,139 --> 00:07:50,469 HAMMERS. 221 00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:52,972 READY, GO. ONE, TWO... 222 00:07:52,973 --> 00:07:54,143 COME ON NOW, YOU ONLY GOT ONE MORE SET AFTER THIS. 223 00:07:54,144 --> 00:07:55,474 WE'RE GOING TILL FAIL. COME ON, FIVE MORE. 224 00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:57,186 YOU CAN DO THIS. 225 00:07:57,187 --> 00:07:59,438 YOU CAN PROBABLY DO THIS. OKAY, COME ON. 226 00:07:59,439 --> 00:08:01,150 - GOOD. - HEY, JOE. 227 00:08:01,151 --> 00:08:02,401 BLAKE, HEY LOOK, 228 00:08:02,402 --> 00:08:04,273 CAN YOU JUST HANG OUT FOR A COUPLE MINUTES? 229 00:08:04,274 --> 00:08:06,696 - I'M RUNNING A LITTLE BEHIND. - I'M ON A REALLY TIGHT SCHEDULE. 230 00:08:06,697 --> 00:08:08,157 I KNOW, HE JUST HAS ONE MORE SET. 231 00:08:08,158 --> 00:08:10,449 WHEN I SAY NOON, I MEAN NOON. 232 00:08:10,450 --> 00:08:12,532 I DON'T HAVE TIME TO SIT AROUND AND WAIT FOR SOME... 233 00:08:12,533 --> 00:08:15,535 ( gasps ) CUTE LITTLE PUPPY! 234 00:08:15,536 --> 00:08:17,076 I'M SORRY. I'M SORRY. 235 00:08:17,077 --> 00:08:18,958 - WHAT DID I TELL YOU... - DON'T YOU DARE! 236 00:08:18,959 --> 00:08:20,920 WELL, AREN'T YOU THE SWEETEST THING? 237 00:08:20,921 --> 00:08:22,171 OH, GOODNESS. 238 00:08:22,172 --> 00:08:23,963 NO! YOU'RE DONE, YOU'RE DONE! 239 00:08:23,964 --> 00:08:25,424 WILL YOU STOP LIFTING? 240 00:08:25,425 --> 00:08:28,087 TAKE YOUR TIME. WE ARE GOOD. 241 00:08:28,088 --> 00:08:29,178 HEY... 242 00:08:29,179 --> 00:08:31,130 THE DOG'S BABY-SITTING YOUR CLIENTS FOR YOU. 243 00:08:31,131 --> 00:08:32,512 YOU OUGHT TO GIVE HIM A RAISE. 244 00:08:34,134 --> 00:08:36,135 THANKS FOR BABY-SITTING AGAIN, RYDER. 245 00:08:36,136 --> 00:08:39,188 YEAH, ISABEL AND I HAD TIME TO WORK ON OUR PEEK-A-BOO. 246 00:08:39,189 --> 00:08:40,810 SHE FOUND ME EVERY TIME. 247 00:08:40,811 --> 00:08:42,732 RIGHT BEHIND THE HANDS, RIGHT? 248 00:08:42,733 --> 00:08:44,313 ( coos ) 249 00:08:44,314 --> 00:08:45,524 OH, IMPRESSIVE. 250 00:08:45,525 --> 00:08:47,737 YOU AND I CAN PEEK-A-BOO ALL DAY TOMORROW. 251 00:08:47,738 --> 00:08:49,528 DON'T YOU HAVE THAT MARCHING BAND TRIP? 252 00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:51,701 IT'S AN AMUSEMENT PARK WITH ROLLER COASTERS, RYDER. 253 00:08:51,702 --> 00:08:54,533 I CAN'T TAKE ISABEL. SHE PUKES ENOUGH AS IT IS. 254 00:08:54,534 --> 00:08:57,286 WELL, IF YOU WANT I CAN WATCH HER. 255 00:08:57,287 --> 00:08:58,537 NO NO, I COULDN'T LET YOU DO THAT 256 00:08:58,538 --> 00:08:59,709 THREE DAYS IN A ROW. 257 00:08:59,710 --> 00:09:01,871 BESIDES, YOU AND I HAVE A DATE TOMORROW NIGHT. 258 00:09:01,872 --> 00:09:04,043 YEAH, I KNOW. BUT WE CAN GO ON A DATE WHEN YOU GET BACK. 259 00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:06,545 COME ON, ISABEL AND I GOT A GOOD THING GOING ON HERE. 260 00:09:06,546 --> 00:09:08,928 WE'RE ON SEASON TWO OF "THE SOPRANOS," 261 00:09:08,929 --> 00:09:11,631 BUT A LOT OF IT JUST GOES RIGHT OVER HER HEAD. 262 00:09:11,632 --> 00:09:12,973 HERE YOU GO, BUDDY. 263 00:09:15,976 --> 00:09:17,727 - ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THIS? - POSITIVE. 264 00:09:17,728 --> 00:09:21,311 OH, YOU'RE THE BEST. I WISH I KNEW HOW TO THANK YOU. 265 00:09:24,645 --> 00:09:26,896 BET YOU COULD THINK OF A FEW WAYS SHE COULD THANK YOU. 266 00:09:26,897 --> 00:09:29,148 WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN? 267 00:09:29,149 --> 00:09:30,489 ( chuckles ) 268 00:09:30,490 --> 00:09:31,861 OHH. 269 00:09:31,862 --> 00:09:34,533 I HAVE NO ULTERIOR MOTIVES FOR BABY-SITTING, JOE. 270 00:09:34,534 --> 00:09:36,195 RYDER, STOP IT. COME ON, IT'S JUST US GUYS. 271 00:09:36,196 --> 00:09:37,246 YOU CAN BE HONEST. 272 00:09:37,247 --> 00:09:39,118 WELL, I WOULDN'T SAY NO 273 00:09:39,119 --> 00:09:42,121 IF STELLA DECIDED TO REWARD ME 274 00:09:42,122 --> 00:09:43,412 IN SOME MEANINGFUL WAY. 275 00:09:43,413 --> 00:09:45,504 MM-HMM. 276 00:09:45,505 --> 00:09:47,628 I REALLY WANT A REWARD. 277 00:09:48,969 --> 00:09:50,420 WELCOME TO THE REST OF YOUR LIFE, BUDDY. 278 00:09:55,846 --> 00:09:57,847 HERE, I GUESS YOU EARNED ONE TODAY. 279 00:09:57,848 --> 00:09:58,928 ( door opens ) 280 00:09:58,929 --> 00:10:01,981 - HEY, ADORABLE. - HEY, MEL. 281 00:10:01,982 --> 00:10:04,223 HI, JOE. 282 00:10:04,224 --> 00:10:05,645 LOOK, I GOT YOU A PRESENT. 283 00:10:05,646 --> 00:10:08,648 YOU GOT ME A PRESENT? WHAT'D YOU GET ME? 284 00:10:08,649 --> 00:10:10,189 YOU GOT ME A... 285 00:10:10,190 --> 00:10:11,280 FIVE PACK OF BEER? 286 00:10:11,281 --> 00:10:13,112 IT'S A LONG WALK UP THE DRIVEWAY. 287 00:10:13,113 --> 00:10:14,944 THIS IS TOP-SHELF MICROBREW. 288 00:10:14,945 --> 00:10:16,325 BECAUSE I AM GENUINELY APPRECIATIVE OF YOU 289 00:10:16,326 --> 00:10:17,997 WATCHING WENDELL FOR ME ALL DAY. 290 00:10:17,998 --> 00:10:19,538 YEAH, WELL, IT WAS A STRUGGLE, 291 00:10:19,539 --> 00:10:21,120 BUT SOMEBODY HAD TO DO IT. 292 00:10:21,121 --> 00:10:22,872 WELL, I'VE GOT BUDGETS TO READ, 293 00:10:22,873 --> 00:10:24,293 SO I AM GONNA TAKE WENDELL, 294 00:10:24,294 --> 00:10:26,455 WHO IS MY RESPONSIBILITY AND MY LOVE MUFFIN, 295 00:10:26,456 --> 00:10:27,707 UP TO MY ROOM. 296 00:10:27,708 --> 00:10:29,959 OH, AND YOU GET TO SLEEP OVER TOMORROW NIGHT. 297 00:10:29,960 --> 00:10:31,511 I'M THERE FOR THAT. 298 00:10:33,884 --> 00:10:36,676 HEY, WHAT'S WRONG? OH, I KNOW WHAT YOU WANT. 299 00:10:36,677 --> 00:10:38,557 OH YEAH. YOU WANT THIS. 300 00:10:38,558 --> 00:10:40,559 - ( growling ) - WHAT'S THE MATTER? 301 00:10:40,560 --> 00:10:41,560 YOU DON'T WANT YOUR FAVORITE TOY? 302 00:10:41,561 --> 00:10:43,142 ( growls ) 303 00:10:43,143 --> 00:10:44,974 YOU BROKE MY DOG. 304 00:10:44,975 --> 00:10:46,645 WHAT? THAT'S RIDICULOUS. 305 00:10:46,646 --> 00:10:48,067 NO, I DIDN'T. WE JUST HUNG OUT TODAY. 306 00:10:48,068 --> 00:10:49,068 HE WATCHED ME TRAIN A FEW PEOPLE 307 00:10:49,069 --> 00:10:50,109 AND WE WENT FOR A RUN. 308 00:10:50,110 --> 00:10:51,771 COME HERE, BUDDY. COME HERE, COME HERE. 309 00:10:51,772 --> 00:10:54,323 - THERE WE GO. - OH, I GET WHAT'S GOING ON HERE. 310 00:10:54,324 --> 00:10:56,115 YEAH, YOU'RE TIRED AND CRANKY 311 00:10:56,116 --> 00:10:58,447 BECAUSE THE SCARY MAN MADE YOU GO FOR A RUN. 312 00:10:58,448 --> 00:11:00,659 MOMMY WOULD NEVER DO THAT. OH, NO SHE WOULDN'T. 313 00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:02,491 OH, NO SHE WOULDN'T. 314 00:11:02,492 --> 00:11:05,125 I THINK EVEN THE DOG THINKS THAT WHAT YOU'RE DOING IS ANNOYING. 315 00:11:06,957 --> 00:11:08,548 NO, HE DOESN'T. OH, NO HE DOESN'T. 316 00:11:21,141 --> 00:11:23,143 MEL. 317 00:11:24,975 --> 00:11:26,976 LISTEN, SWEETIE, I DON'T WANT TO HURT YOUR FEELINGS, 318 00:11:26,977 --> 00:11:28,647 BUT NEXT TIME YOU COME IN HERE, COULD YOU MAYBE 319 00:11:28,648 --> 00:11:30,650 USE A LITTLE MOUTHWASH? 320 00:11:32,943 --> 00:11:34,944 Mel: JOE, HAVE YOU SEEN WENDELL? 321 00:11:34,945 --> 00:11:38,318 JOE, HOW COULD YOU?! 322 00:11:40,951 --> 00:11:42,701 THIS IS NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE. 323 00:11:42,702 --> 00:11:44,663 HE'S IN YOUR BED. WHAT ELSE COULD IT BE? 324 00:11:44,664 --> 00:11:45,995 I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW HE WAS IN HERE. 325 00:11:45,996 --> 00:11:48,207 YEAH. YOU DELIBERATELY STOLE MY DOG'S AFFECTIONS, 326 00:11:48,208 --> 00:11:51,831 AND AFTER I WAS KIND ENOUGH TO LET YOU PLAY WITH HIM ALL DAY. 327 00:11:51,832 --> 00:11:54,173 I'M SORRY, YOU LET ME PLAY WITH HIM? 328 00:11:54,174 --> 00:11:56,135 YES. YEAH. BUT I HAD NO IDEA 329 00:11:56,136 --> 00:11:57,677 YOU'D TAKE ADVANTAGE OF AN INNOCENT ANIMAL. 330 00:12:01,972 --> 00:12:04,013 WHAT DO YOU THINK HAPPENED IN HERE? 331 00:12:04,014 --> 00:12:05,724 I BET THE WHOLE TIME YOU WERE ON THE PHONE 332 00:12:05,725 --> 00:12:07,056 COMPLAINING ABOUT HOW BUSY YOU WERE, 333 00:12:07,057 --> 00:12:08,687 YOU WERE REALLY RUBBING WENDELL'S TUMMY. 334 00:12:08,688 --> 00:12:11,060 THAT'S MY TUMMY. 335 00:12:11,061 --> 00:12:12,231 YOU KNOW WHAT, MEL? THERE WERE SEVERAL REASONS 336 00:12:12,232 --> 00:12:13,272 WHY I DIDN'T WANT TO GET THIS DOG. 337 00:12:13,273 --> 00:12:15,194 AND THIS IS ONE OF THEM. HE'S COMING BETWEEN US. 338 00:12:15,195 --> 00:12:17,066 NO, APPARENTLY I'M THE ONE COMING BETWEEN THIS 339 00:12:17,067 --> 00:12:18,948 B.F.F. SLEEPOVER. 340 00:12:18,949 --> 00:12:20,239 YOU KNOW WHAT? FINE. 341 00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:22,411 STAY HERE WITH YOUR LITTLE FRIEND. 342 00:12:22,412 --> 00:12:23,572 BUT JUST SO YOU KNOW, 343 00:12:23,573 --> 00:12:25,364 HE TOLD ME HE HATES YOUR ENTIRE SPECIES. 344 00:12:25,365 --> 00:12:27,537 HUH? YEAH. THINK ABOUT THAT. 345 00:12:29,419 --> 00:12:31,461 MEL, COME ON. 346 00:12:35,545 --> 00:12:37,007 I DIDN'T KNOW YOU THEN. 347 00:12:45,475 --> 00:12:47,386 - HEY. - HEY, THERE SHE IS. 348 00:12:47,387 --> 00:12:48,808 LOOK HOW BEAUTIFUL YOU LOOK. COME HERE. 349 00:12:48,809 --> 00:12:50,099 LET ME TAKE THOSE BAGS FROM YOU. 350 00:12:50,100 --> 00:12:51,811 TAKE A LOAD OFF. YOUR FEET MUST BE KILLING YOU 351 00:12:51,812 --> 00:12:54,894 AFTER A LONG, ARDUOUS DAY OF SHOPPING IN THE MALL. 352 00:12:54,895 --> 00:12:58,237 LET ME POUR YOU A NICE GLASS OF WINE HERE. 353 00:12:58,238 --> 00:13:00,109 OKAY, WHAT IS GOING ON HERE? 354 00:13:00,110 --> 00:13:01,991 HOLY CRAP! MY MOTHER'S HERE. 355 00:13:01,992 --> 00:13:03,452 NOPE. IF THAT WERE THE CASE, 356 00:13:03,453 --> 00:13:05,825 I'D BE POURING SOMETHING A LOT STRONGER THAN WINE. 357 00:13:05,826 --> 00:13:07,206 OKAY, SO WHAT'S UP? 358 00:13:07,207 --> 00:13:08,577 WHY ARE YOU SO HAPPY TO SEE ME? 359 00:13:08,578 --> 00:13:10,209 WELL, YES I AM HAPPY TO SEE YOU, 360 00:13:10,210 --> 00:13:12,041 BUT YOU KNOW WHO ELSE IS HAPPY TO SEE YOU? 361 00:13:12,042 --> 00:13:13,462 WENDELL, COME HERE, BUDDY. 362 00:13:13,463 --> 00:13:14,713 COME HERE. LOOK WHO'S HERE. 363 00:13:14,714 --> 00:13:16,215 - MOMMY'S HOME. - HEY, BABY. 364 00:13:16,216 --> 00:13:17,466 OH, YOU DO LOVE ME. 365 00:13:17,467 --> 00:13:18,797 OH, HE REALLY DOES LOVE ME. 366 00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:21,050 OF COURSE HE LOVES YOU. WHAT'S NOT TO LOVE, HUH? 367 00:13:21,051 --> 00:13:23,052 HE KNOWS WHO HE BELONGS TO. 368 00:13:23,053 --> 00:13:24,423 HEY, WENDELL, COME HERE, BUDDY. YOU'RE GOING TOO FAR. 369 00:13:24,424 --> 00:13:27,386 DOG TREATS? 370 00:13:27,387 --> 00:13:29,058 SO YOU'RE TRYING TO BRIBE MY DOG TO LOVE ME 371 00:13:29,059 --> 00:13:31,100 WITH BACON? 372 00:13:31,101 --> 00:13:33,062 HEY, JOE, THERE'S SOME GUY OUTSIDE. 373 00:13:33,063 --> 00:13:34,894 HE SAYS HE'S HERE FOR A TRAINING SESSION. 374 00:13:34,895 --> 00:13:36,435 OKAY, THANKS. 375 00:13:36,436 --> 00:13:38,607 ALL RIGHT, WELL, I'M GONNA LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE 376 00:13:38,608 --> 00:13:41,030 FOR SOME QUALITY MOMMY, WENDELL BONDING. 377 00:13:41,031 --> 00:13:44,033 AND YOU KNOW, YOU GUYS SHOULD BE ABLE TO 378 00:13:44,034 --> 00:13:45,704 LEARN ABOUT EACH OTHER'S... 379 00:13:45,705 --> 00:13:47,786 OKAY, ARE YOU PUTTING BACON IN MY POCKET? 380 00:13:47,787 --> 00:13:48,828 WHAT? NO. 381 00:13:50,040 --> 00:13:52,041 LOOK, YOU CAN'T JUST LINE MY POCKETS WITH PORK 382 00:13:52,042 --> 00:13:53,042 TO GET THE DOG TO LOVE ME. 383 00:13:53,043 --> 00:13:55,254 IT WOULD HAVE WORKED. I'M TELLING YOU. 384 00:13:55,255 --> 00:13:57,046 ALL RIGHT, I GOTTA GO. 385 00:13:57,047 --> 00:13:58,627 I HAVE A CLIENT. 386 00:13:58,628 --> 00:14:00,299 YEAH, YOU'RE NOT FOOLING ANYBODY. 387 00:14:00,300 --> 00:14:02,091 GO, RUN AND BE WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND. 388 00:14:02,092 --> 00:14:03,093 ( barks ) 389 00:14:04,674 --> 00:14:07,306 YOU KNOW, I TAKE A POOR ORPHAN DOG INTO MY HOME 390 00:14:07,307 --> 00:14:09,058 AND THIS IS THE THANKS I GET? 391 00:14:09,059 --> 00:14:10,099 I SHOULD TAKE HIM TO THE POUND. 392 00:14:10,100 --> 00:14:11,891 YOU CAN'T DO THAT TO WENDELL. 393 00:14:11,892 --> 00:14:13,143 I MEANT JOE. 394 00:14:14,814 --> 00:14:16,185 BUT DIDN'T JOE DO A NICE THING 395 00:14:16,186 --> 00:14:17,856 BY TRYING TO TRICK THE DOG INTO LOVING YOU? 396 00:14:17,857 --> 00:14:20,189 WELL, HE SHOULDN'T HAVE TO TRICK WENDELL INTO LOVING ME. 397 00:14:20,190 --> 00:14:21,530 HE'S MY DOG. 398 00:14:21,531 --> 00:14:23,032 I'M THE ONE THAT WANTED SOMETHING SMALL 399 00:14:23,033 --> 00:14:24,863 AND HELPLESS THAT I COULD HOLD IN MY ARMS LIKE A LITTLE... 400 00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:26,865 - BABY? - NO. 401 00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:28,948 SMALL DOG. WHERE'D YOU GET "BABY"? 402 00:14:28,949 --> 00:14:30,539 ( scoffs ) I'M NOT READY FOR THAT. 403 00:14:30,540 --> 00:14:33,042 OH MY GOD, YOU SO WANT A BABY. 404 00:14:33,043 --> 00:14:35,044 WHAT?! NO. 405 00:14:35,045 --> 00:14:37,667 MAYBE. 406 00:14:38,878 --> 00:14:40,709 OKAY, WELL THEN MAYBE YOU SHOULD 407 00:14:40,710 --> 00:14:42,962 GIVE JOE A CLUE ABOUT WHY YOU REALLY GOT A DOG. 408 00:14:42,963 --> 00:14:44,463 ARE YOU KIDDING? 409 00:14:44,464 --> 00:14:45,965 THE LAST THING A GUY IN A NEW RELATIONSHIP WANTS TO HEAR 410 00:14:45,966 --> 00:14:47,216 IS THE PHRASE "I WANT" 411 00:14:47,217 --> 00:14:49,218 FOLLOWED BY THE WORD "BABY." 412 00:14:49,219 --> 00:14:51,600 SO YOU'RE NOT EVEN GONNA TRY TO BE HONEST WITH JOE? 413 00:14:51,601 --> 00:14:54,603 ( chuckles ) OH, HONEY. 414 00:14:54,604 --> 00:14:57,016 OKAY, SO WHAT, YOU'RE JUST GONNA BURY YOUR FEELINGS 415 00:14:57,017 --> 00:14:58,687 AND DRESS WENDELL UP IN LITTLE OUTFITS? 416 00:14:58,688 --> 00:15:02,691 OH, YOU GOTTA SEE THIS ADORABLE HOODIE I GOT HIM. 417 00:15:02,692 --> 00:15:04,193 OH, LOOK. IT'S SO CUTE. 418 00:15:04,194 --> 00:15:06,025 ( imitates barking ) 419 00:15:06,026 --> 00:15:07,737 ( mouths words ) 420 00:15:10,450 --> 00:15:12,531 HEY, JOE, CAN I BORROW THE CAR KEYS TONIGHT? 421 00:15:12,532 --> 00:15:15,414 'CAUSE STELLA AND I ARE FINALLY GETTING SOME ALONE TIME. 422 00:15:15,415 --> 00:15:17,296 WELL, IF THAT'S THE CASE, I THINK IT'S TIME YOU AND I 423 00:15:17,297 --> 00:15:19,038 HAVE A LITTLE MAN-TO-MAN CHAT. 424 00:15:19,039 --> 00:15:20,799 LOOK, FUN IS GREAT AND EVERYTHING, 425 00:15:20,800 --> 00:15:22,131 BUT TONIGHT, YOU MAKE SURE YOU TREAT HER WITH 426 00:15:22,132 --> 00:15:23,752 THE KINDNESS AND RESPECT THAT SHE DESERVES. 427 00:15:23,753 --> 00:15:25,044 JOE, NO. I DON'T THINK YOU UNDERSTAND. 428 00:15:25,045 --> 00:15:26,385 I TOTALLY RESPECT WOMEN. 429 00:15:26,386 --> 00:15:28,547 STELLA WILL BE TOTALLY FINE. 430 00:15:28,548 --> 00:15:30,889 NO, I WAS TALKING ABOUT MY CAR. 431 00:15:30,890 --> 00:15:32,891 JUST GOT HER DETAILED. 432 00:15:32,892 --> 00:15:34,053 ALL RIGHT. 433 00:15:34,054 --> 00:15:36,265 HEY, YOU RESPECT STELLA TOO. 434 00:15:36,266 --> 00:15:39,018 SEE YOU, AUNT MEL. I'M OFF FOR MY DATE. 435 00:15:39,019 --> 00:15:41,190 OH, BE SAFE, AND NO "T.N.D." 436 00:15:41,191 --> 00:15:43,112 TEXTING AND DRIVING, "T.N.D." 437 00:15:43,113 --> 00:15:45,734 RIGHT, YEAH. NO ONE CALLS IT THAT. 438 00:15:45,735 --> 00:15:46,736 THE COOL KIDS DO. 439 00:15:48,868 --> 00:15:51,280 HEY, JOE, ABOUT WENDELL, 440 00:15:51,281 --> 00:15:53,032 LOOK, I WAS WRONG TO IGNORE YOUR FEELINGS 441 00:15:53,033 --> 00:15:54,413 AND ADOPT HIM. 442 00:15:54,414 --> 00:15:56,625 AND LENNOX AND I WERE TALKING EARLIER ABOUT HIM, 443 00:15:56,626 --> 00:15:58,377 AND I REALIZED THERE'S SOMETHING I NEED TO TELL YOU. 444 00:15:58,378 --> 00:15:59,878 WHAT? 445 00:15:59,879 --> 00:16:01,880 WELL, IT'S JUST THAT... 446 00:16:01,881 --> 00:16:06,295 I WANT TO... WELL, NOT NOW, BUT SOMEDAY... 447 00:16:06,296 --> 00:16:10,089 HAVE THE DOG MICRO-CHIPPED. 448 00:16:10,090 --> 00:16:11,890 OKAY. 449 00:16:11,891 --> 00:16:13,433 WHAT DO YOU SAY, WENDELL? 450 00:16:15,225 --> 00:16:17,056 OH, LOOK. HE CAME TOME. 451 00:16:17,057 --> 00:16:20,399 AND THERE'S NO BACON ANYWHERE. IS THERE? 452 00:16:20,400 --> 00:16:21,600 NO NO. 453 00:16:21,601 --> 00:16:24,023 HE IS LOVING YOU ALL ON HIS OWN. 454 00:16:24,024 --> 00:16:25,864 I GOTTA TELL YOU SOMETHING TOO, MEL. 455 00:16:25,865 --> 00:16:28,107 I PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE BEEN MORE OPEN-MINDED TO YOUR 456 00:16:28,108 --> 00:16:30,029 NOT SO TERRIBLE IDEA OF US GETTING A DOG. 457 00:16:30,030 --> 00:16:32,281 'CAUSE YOU KNOW, HE'S A GOOD DOG. 458 00:16:32,282 --> 00:16:37,616 AND I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M GONNA SAY THIS, 459 00:16:37,617 --> 00:16:40,709 BUT I LIKE OUR DOG. 460 00:16:40,710 --> 00:16:42,621 OH, AND I LIKE THE SOUND OF THAT. 461 00:16:42,622 --> 00:16:44,043 "OUR" DOG. 462 00:16:44,044 --> 00:16:45,834 WENDELL'S NOT OUR DOG. 463 00:16:45,835 --> 00:16:46,925 WAIT, WHAT? 464 00:16:46,926 --> 00:16:48,627 YOU KNOW HOW I POSTED THOSE PICTURE OF HIM 465 00:16:48,628 --> 00:16:50,799 UNDER "♪CUTEST DOG IN TOLEDO"? 466 00:16:50,800 --> 00:16:52,631 WELL, HE'S GOT 9,000 FOLLOWERS, 467 00:16:52,632 --> 00:16:54,473 BUT ONE OF THEM TURNS OUT TO BE HIS ACTUAL OWNER. 468 00:16:54,474 --> 00:16:55,974 - HE'S LYING. - NO, LOOK. 469 00:16:55,975 --> 00:16:57,556 HE SENT PICTURES AS PROOF. 470 00:16:57,557 --> 00:16:59,558 THAT DOG LOOKS NOTHING LIKE WENDELL. 471 00:16:59,559 --> 00:17:01,270 PUT WENDELL IN A "BITCHES BE CRAZY" SHIRT, 472 00:17:01,271 --> 00:17:02,481 AND IT'S HIM. 473 00:17:02,482 --> 00:17:04,193 WENDELL IS SO MUCH CUTER THAN THAT DOG. 474 00:17:04,194 --> 00:17:05,694 YEAH, AND THIS DOG'S NAME IS PAXTON. 475 00:17:05,695 --> 00:17:06,735 WHO NAMES THEIR DOG PAXTON? 476 00:17:06,736 --> 00:17:08,738 - HERE, PAXTON. - ( barks ) 477 00:17:10,150 --> 00:17:12,201 OH, COME ON NOW, IT DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING. 478 00:17:12,202 --> 00:17:13,362 I MEAN, YOU CALL A DOG LIKE THAT, 479 00:17:13,363 --> 00:17:14,533 HE'S GONNA RESPOND. 480 00:17:14,534 --> 00:17:16,285 JUST LIKE IF YOU SAID "HERE, BISCUIT," 481 00:17:16,286 --> 00:17:17,956 OR "HERE, PRINCESS." 482 00:17:17,957 --> 00:17:20,369 SEE? SAME REACTION AS "HERE, PAXTON." 483 00:17:20,370 --> 00:17:21,710 ( barks ) 484 00:17:21,711 --> 00:17:23,163 HE'S NOT OUR DOG, MEL. 485 00:17:24,584 --> 00:17:26,586 ( jazz music playing ) 486 00:17:27,877 --> 00:17:29,968 WELL, I HAD A GREAT TIME TODAY, 487 00:17:29,969 --> 00:17:32,431 SO THANKS AGAIN FOR MAKING ME GO ON THE MARCHING BAND TRIP. 488 00:17:32,432 --> 00:17:34,223 NO, YOU DON'T NEED TO THANK ME. 489 00:17:34,224 --> 00:17:36,885 UNLESS YOU WANT TO. I MEAN, I WOULDN'T STOP YOU. 490 00:17:36,886 --> 00:17:38,637 WHAT GUY DOESN'T LIKE TO BE THANKED? 491 00:17:38,638 --> 00:17:41,440 OH MY GOD. THE BUS RIDE HOME WAS CRAZY. 492 00:17:41,441 --> 00:17:43,852 IT TURNED INTO ONE BIG WILD PARTY. 493 00:17:43,853 --> 00:17:46,024 SOUNDS LIKE A GOOD TIME. 494 00:17:46,025 --> 00:17:48,026 UGH, NO. I ENDED UP JUST MOVING TO THE FRONT 495 00:17:48,027 --> 00:17:49,738 AND WORKING ON MY ENGLISH PAPER. 496 00:17:49,739 --> 00:17:52,281 YOU KNOW, WHEN YOU'RE RESPONSIBLE LIKE THAT, 497 00:17:52,282 --> 00:17:55,194 IT REALLY BRINGS OUT YOUR EYES. 498 00:17:55,195 --> 00:17:58,036 YEAH, I'VE BEEN WORKING REALLY HARD TO GET MY G.P.A. UP 499 00:17:58,037 --> 00:18:00,869 SO I CAN GET A SCHOLARSHIP TO A GOOD COLLEGE. 500 00:18:00,870 --> 00:18:03,122 YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M GONNA DO IT. 501 00:18:03,123 --> 00:18:06,125 HEY, I RESPECT THAT. 502 00:18:06,126 --> 00:18:07,336 SO MUCH. 503 00:18:07,337 --> 00:18:09,208 YEAH, I MEAN, WHEN I REALLY WANT SOMETHING, 504 00:18:09,209 --> 00:18:10,629 I JUST GO FOR IT. 505 00:18:10,630 --> 00:18:12,050 ME TOO. 506 00:18:12,051 --> 00:18:14,803 AND I KNOW I MADE A REALLY BIG MISTAKE LAST YEAR. 507 00:18:14,804 --> 00:18:16,135 THE WHOLE WORLD KNOWS IT, 508 00:18:16,136 --> 00:18:17,976 BUT I'M NOT GETTING ANYWHERE NEAR MAKING 509 00:18:17,977 --> 00:18:19,218 THAT SORT OF MISTAKE AGAIN. 510 00:18:19,219 --> 00:18:20,309 HUH. 511 00:18:20,310 --> 00:18:22,771 I MEAN, NOW IS JUST NOT THE TIME IN MY LIFE 512 00:18:22,772 --> 00:18:26,355 FOR ANYMORE SEX. 513 00:18:26,356 --> 00:18:28,106 YOU KNOW, THAT IS... THAT'S NOT A DECISION 514 00:18:28,107 --> 00:18:30,108 YOU NEED TO MAKE RIGHT NOW, STELLA. 515 00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:33,282 BUT WITH ISABEL'S FATHER, IT WAS JUST SEX SEX SEX 516 00:18:33,283 --> 00:18:36,034 ALL THE TIME. IT NEVER STOPPED. 517 00:18:36,035 --> 00:18:37,867 SOUNDS LIKE HELL. 518 00:18:40,039 --> 00:18:43,242 BUT YOU HELPED ME REALIZE THAT THERE'S MORE TO THAT IN A RELATIONSHIP. 519 00:18:43,243 --> 00:18:46,875 YOU KNOW, THERE'S COMPATIBILITY AND KINDNESS. 520 00:18:46,876 --> 00:18:49,878 JUST HANGING OUT AND GETTING TO KNOW EACH OTHER. 521 00:18:49,879 --> 00:18:51,049 YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? 522 00:18:51,050 --> 00:18:55,053 YEAH. I DO. 523 00:18:55,054 --> 00:18:56,216 I REALLY DO. 524 00:18:58,057 --> 00:19:00,559 SITTING HERE WITH YOU LOOKING UP AT THE STARS, 525 00:19:00,560 --> 00:19:02,811 IT'S PRETTY GREAT. 526 00:19:02,812 --> 00:19:05,354 - CAN I ASK YOU ONE THING? - YEAH. 527 00:19:05,355 --> 00:19:07,356 CAN YOU PUT YOUR ARM AROUND ME AGAIN? 528 00:19:07,357 --> 00:19:08,767 YEAH, I CAN DO THAT. 529 00:19:08,768 --> 00:19:10,069 ( chuckles ) 530 00:19:16,155 --> 00:19:18,657 WENDELL... PAXTON, 531 00:19:18,658 --> 00:19:20,699 I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT WHILE THIS HAS BEEN YOUR HOME FOR AWHILE, 532 00:19:20,700 --> 00:19:22,451 THE PLACE YOU'RE GOING NOW IS YOUR REAL HOME. 533 00:19:22,452 --> 00:19:24,122 THAT'S RIGHT. 534 00:19:24,123 --> 00:19:26,044 WHERE THEY WERE IRRESPONSIBLE AND DIDN'T KEEP TRACK OF YOU. 535 00:19:26,045 --> 00:19:29,087 - JOE. - WHAT? HE DESERVES TO KNOW THE TRUTH. 536 00:19:29,088 --> 00:19:30,459 HUH? DON'T YOU? 537 00:19:30,460 --> 00:19:31,960 DON'T YOU DESERVE IT? 538 00:19:31,961 --> 00:19:34,883 DON'T YOU DESERVE TO KNOW... 539 00:19:34,884 --> 00:19:37,296 I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED RIGHT NOW. 540 00:19:37,297 --> 00:19:40,178 WELL, REMEMBER, MOMMY AND DADDY WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU. 541 00:19:40,179 --> 00:19:42,060 MOMMY AND DADDY. 542 00:19:42,061 --> 00:19:45,063 WELL, YEAH, I GUESS... 543 00:19:45,064 --> 00:19:47,356 I GUESS THAT'S WHAT YOU ARE WHEN YOU HAVE A DOG, RIGHT? 544 00:19:47,357 --> 00:19:50,269 WELL, I NEVER REALLY THOUGHT ABOUT IT BEFORE EVER, 545 00:19:50,270 --> 00:19:51,570 BUT I GUESS SO. 546 00:19:51,571 --> 00:19:53,442 MEL, I THINK THAT'S PART OF THE REASON 547 00:19:53,443 --> 00:19:56,945 WHY I WAS SO RESISTANT TO US GETTING A DOG IN THE FIRST PLACE. 548 00:19:56,946 --> 00:19:59,238 BECAUSE IT'S KIND OF LIKE US HAVING A BABY. 549 00:19:59,239 --> 00:20:03,081 ( chuckles ) THAT'S WHAT YOU THOUGHT? 550 00:20:03,082 --> 00:20:04,453 WELL, YEAH. 551 00:20:04,454 --> 00:20:06,875 RAISING TEENAGERS IS ONE THING, 552 00:20:06,876 --> 00:20:10,038 BUT STARTING FROM SCRATCH, THAT'S INTIMIDATING. 553 00:20:10,039 --> 00:20:11,880 REALLY? 554 00:20:11,881 --> 00:20:13,041 YOU INTIMIDATED? 555 00:20:13,042 --> 00:20:14,593 I BET YOU'D MAKE A GREAT DAD. 556 00:20:14,594 --> 00:20:17,175 WELL, THAT'S A SAFE BET. 557 00:20:17,176 --> 00:20:19,679 YEP, AND SOMEDAY, MAYBE WE'LL HAVE ONE OF OUR OWN. 558 00:20:21,471 --> 00:20:23,051 - A DOG. - OF COURSE A DOG. 559 00:20:23,052 --> 00:20:25,894 ABSOLUTELY. DOG. 560 00:20:25,895 --> 00:20:28,057 A TINY LITTLE BABY DOG. 561 00:20:33,903 --> 00:20:35,774 I DON'T GET IT. WHY DOES HE LIKE YOU MORE? 562 00:20:35,775 --> 00:20:37,316 DOGS ARE PACK ANIMALS. 563 00:20:37,317 --> 00:20:39,318 AND THEY JUST NATURALLY GRAVITATE TOWARD THE ALPHA. 564 00:20:39,319 --> 00:20:41,320 - YOU CAN'T TAKE IT PERSONALLY. - OH, YOU'RE THE ALPHA? 565 00:20:41,321 --> 00:20:42,991 IN MY HOUSE? 566 00:20:42,992 --> 00:20:44,573 I'M THE ALPHA WHEREVER I GO, BABY. 567 00:20:44,574 --> 00:20:46,955 - ( scoffs ) - ( doorbell rings ) 568 00:20:46,956 --> 00:20:49,247 DOGS JUST RESPOND TO STRENGTH, YOU KNOW? 569 00:20:49,248 --> 00:20:50,670 WHY ELSE WOULD HE LIKE ME SO MUCH? 570 00:20:52,251 --> 00:20:53,582 HI, I'M VIC SPINELLI. 571 00:20:53,583 --> 00:20:55,874 I'M HERE FOR MY DOG, PAXTON. 572 00:20:55,875 --> 00:20:57,506 HEY, I'M JOE LONGO. 573 00:20:57,507 --> 00:20:59,257 - HEY. - HEY. 574 00:20:59,258 --> 00:21:00,509 WAIT, "LONGO FIT"? 575 00:21:00,510 --> 00:21:02,301 I SAW YOUR AD AT THE HEALTH FOOD STORE. 576 00:21:02,302 --> 00:21:03,432 - OH, YEAH? - YEAH. 577 00:21:03,433 --> 00:21:04,803 I RUN "VIC'S CROSSFIT." 578 00:21:04,804 --> 00:21:05,884 I HEARD GOOD THINGS. 579 00:21:05,885 --> 00:21:07,386 LISTEN, THANKS FOR TAKING CARE OF MY DOG. 580 00:21:07,387 --> 00:21:09,439 - ( barks ) - HEY, PAX, WAIT FOR ME. 581 00:21:10,600 --> 00:21:12,060 AMAZING. 582 00:21:12,061 --> 00:21:13,312 WHAT? 583 00:21:13,313 --> 00:21:14,893 SAME SHIRT, SAME BUILD. 584 00:21:14,894 --> 00:21:16,154 EVEN THE SAME COLOGNE. 585 00:21:16,155 --> 00:21:18,697 VIC IS YOU. YOU'RE VIC. 586 00:21:18,698 --> 00:21:20,819 THAT'S WHY THE DOG LIKED YOU MORE. 587 00:21:20,820 --> 00:21:21,901 THAT SKINNY GUY? 588 00:21:23,242 --> 00:21:24,903 HEY, JUST REMEMBER SOMETHING. 589 00:21:24,904 --> 00:21:26,365 YOUR ALPHA'S RIGHT OVER HERE, BABY. 590 00:21:26,366 --> 00:21:27,996 OH, YEAH? WELL, YOU'RE ONLY THE ALPHA 591 00:21:27,997 --> 00:21:29,328 IN ONE ROOM IN THIS HOUSE. 592 00:21:29,329 --> 00:21:30,370 THE KITCHEN.